It’s a common misconception that once you’ve found ‘the one’, you must forego all close friends of the opposite sex for fear of them getting in the way of your happiness, but is that really the case? Is anyone really worth giving up your pals for? After all, boyfriends can come and go, but friends, they are there forever. It’s certainly not the easiest obstacle you’ll have to overcome, whilst keeping everyone happy too.
But if someone is really important to you, and you don’t want to have to give them up, following these friendship rules should help you to navigate this new territory
1. Don’t keep it a secret!
If you find yourself spending time with your friend instead of your partner, and you aren’t telling them about it, then something must be up. Some people consider doing anything in secret, acting in any way you wouldn’t in front of your partner as cheating, so beware. Are you really willing to throw your relationship away? And why do you feel the need to be so private? Is there something happening that you aren’t willing to admit just yet? These are some questions that really need answering before you can decide what to do moving forwards.
2. Introduce them to each other
Often, it’s the mystery that drives your partner mad, so getting them to hang out together is a great way of taking all of that away. If you like this friend, and your partner likes you, chances are, given some time they’ll enjoy the company of one another too. This might take time because they’ll probably be slightly wary of each other in the beginning, but it will pay off in the long run. Enjoying good times as a group of friends will be the goal.
3. Don’t slate your significant other
You wouldn’t like it if your partner criticized you to someone, so don’t do the same to them. Discuss your issues with your partner. Talking about your partner in a condescending way to your friends doesn’t bode well for your relationship and indicates a strained relationship. Work on your relationship first.
4. Step back if feelings ever develop
Even if you’ve been friends with someone for years, before your partner even came along, this could happen. According to many divorce lawyers, most affairs begin as a friendship that went a little too far, so just be wary. If you ever feel anything unexpected, or your friend does, take some space from one another while you figure things out. This might be the time where some real changes need to be made.
5. Remember, communication is always key
This goes for any aspect of your relationship, but especially an area as tricky as this. Always communicate everything. If your partner has worries, listen to him. Don’t shut his concerns down as ridiculous just because you know it will never happen. Acknowledge his worries and talk them through, respect him the same the way you would want to be respected yourself. The same goes for you too, always be honest about where your friendship stands, and let him know early on how important this person is to you.
You can have friendships of the opposite sex, there are certainly no rules stating that you can’t. Provided all parties know exactly where you stand and you’ve considered how each person is feeling or will be affected. You may need to adjust, you might have to alter things further down the line, but just keep that communication going and everyone is happy!
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