Making friends (especially with the opposite sex) is a minefield, often with both parties having no clue where they actually stand. In relationships, ‘the talk’ comes around at some point, defining exactly where the future is going but the same doesn’t happen with pals, and that can be confusing.
But here are some clear-cut signs that you’re on your way to becoming friends:
1. Eek, You’re Cool!
You admire them from afar, they say something that sparks your attention, maybe they like something that you do and all you want to do is talk about it with them, but you aren’t sure if you can quite yet...
2. Is It All In My Head?
You talk, all the while trying to size up whether your potential new friend feels the same way you do. You want to be cool, but you also want them to know how much you want to be in their life but as friends. This stage can be incredibly awkward, but as long as they ask for a way to keep in touch, it’s safe to say you’re in.
It’s the age-old question, isn’t it? Can men and women really be friends? Seriously, without any feelings getting in the way? While some people strongly disagree that it can be done, there is a lot of evidence to the contrary. In fact, research suggests that totally the opposite is true:
“The belief that men and women can't be friends comes from another era in which women were at home and men were in the workplace, and the only way they could get together was for romance. Now they work together and share interests and socialize together.” [Psychology Today, 2001]
So, what reasons are there to make opposite sex friends?
Well, firstly, you will be given an entirely new world perspective. There’s no denying that men and women view the world in totally different ways, and gaining some insight into that will help you to get a better idea of things. Whether it be dating, work problems, even picking out a gift for someone else... having an insight from both genders can be incredibly useful. You’...
It’s a common misconception that once you’ve found ‘the one’, you must forego all close friends of the opposite sex for fear of them getting in the way of your happiness, but is that really the case? Is anyone really worth giving up your pals for? After all, boyfriends can come and go, but friends, they are there forever. It’s certainly not the easiest obstacle you’ll have to overcome, whilst keeping everyone happy too.
But if someone is really important to you, and you don’t want to have to give them up, following these friendship rules should help you to navigate this new territory
1. Don’t keep it a secret!
If you find yourself spending time with your friend instead of your partner, and you aren’t telling them about it, then something must be up. Some people consider doing anything in secret, acting in any way you wouldn’t in front of your partner as cheating, so beware. Are you really willing to throw your relationship away? And why do you feel the need to be so private? Is there som...
Admittedly, it isn’t always easy to be just friends with a member of the opposite sex. But when it’s sexual attraction, rather than real feelings, that gets in the way, an easy solution is to get into a ‘friends with benefits’ type of agreement. This is when you hook up randomly, when you’re both in the mood, with no strings attached. This can be someone you’ve known for a long time, or someone you’ve met recently, it doesn’t really matter.
But does it always work out? Is it as simple as it appears? Can you both overcome your physical attraction, get that relief, and continue being friends? Sure, but only if you decide to make some strict ground rules to start with, and you stick to them. For example, if you decide never to flirt publicly around each other, ensure that always happens. Or if you agree to end it as soon as one of you gets involved with someone else, then do that. Don’t stray away from the rules if you want it to work.
However, sometimes the lines manage to get blurred with...
Reading guys can sometimes be difficult, especially when you have feelings clouding your judgement. It’s easy to make things much bigger than they are, or to twist events to see things you want to see. It’s one of those unfortunate life experiences that nearly all of us goes through at some point... realizing that he just isn’t into you! Hopefully if you can spot these early signs, it’ll stop a lot of heartache later on:
1. He doesn’t notice things about you
You get a haircut, he doesn’t see it, you tell him what you’re up to over the weekend, he never remembers it, you discuss a band you both like and he forgets that you ever had that conversation... sound familiar? If he isn’t interested in these little details about you, then he’s not paying enough attention. And really, if he doesn’t notice you now, what makes you think he’ll be any better as a boyfriend? Is that really what you want? Didn’t think so!
2. He gives you a nickname that’s similar to his guy friends
Sometimes, the old chestnut ‘let’s stay friends’ after a relationship ends, becomes a reality. Maybe you have common friends or colleagues, maybe you’ll bump into each other at local events. Or maybe you just want to give it a try because the dreaded thought of cutting them from your life is just too hard.
Whatever the reason, if you want to remain friends, you’ll need to make sure you follow these rules to navigate this:
Do take a break from each other first. There’s no way you can transition from relationship to ‘just friends’ right away. You need to wait until all the old hurt and resentment has vanished, and you don’t have any romantic feelings anymore. If you can go for days without thinking about him, and when he does pop into your brain it doesn’t hurt, then you’re on your way to being ready for friendship. It’s also a good idea to try hanging out in a group first just to test the waters and see how you feel.
Don’t stick being friends with him if he still makes you unhappy. If the...
Valentine’s Day is one of those very awkward days that really highlights the current state of your love life. If you’re in a happy, committed relationship, it can be a wonderful time to celebrate with soppy cards, heart shaped chocolates and teddy bears covered in romantic slogans. But if you aren’t, it can leave you feeling a little... empty. If you aren’t getting red and pink colored gifts from a significant other this Valentine’s Day... don't worry, all's not lost!
I wanted you to remember that you don’t always need to get your male companionship from a boyfriend. Sure, having a boyfriend is great but so is having fantastic male friends. Think about it, you’ll have someone there to make you laugh, to cheer you up with silliness when things get tough and to give you another perspective on life, forever.
So how do you go about making some male friends? Here's 6 simple tips to get you started:
Try something new
If you’re trying to widen your circle and you want some new...